im not ready for summer!

this is my goal, and probably the one body i can get mine closest to. i actually was gonna post pictures of me but felt to embarrassed. right now im sporting native american couture. its basically what u see in the picture, skinny arms, skinny legs, boob like chest with the stomach of a pig, dotted with countless scars. i hate i hate! im so vulnerable to any kind of critism despite being prepared for it. recently my mom and sisters decided to do a marathon, i have to admit i have my doubts but those girls are still running and looking damn good! it's actually inspired me to begin to work out. never in my life have i ever been this out of shape. when i run my legs arent used to carrying so much weight. what used to an easy 5 mile jog turned into a struggle for even completing the first half mile. so i try my hand at swimming, fat does tend to float better. i struggled in that to and made myself feel like a beached whale excepted i was still in the water. i feel like like i jumped into this workout stuff cold turkey. im trying to eat more healthy and work out almost twice daily. if anyone out there is looking for a work out partner i need the motivation. for now i look at all you skinny twigs with envy!

sloppy random thoughts of a man called cam...

out of the corner of my eye i spot a yellow folder filled with writing assignments cam had written for class. it's freaking 4:00 am, what the hell, it is the perfect time to read them and besides i told cam i would. a dash of wit, a cup of light heartedness, and a mind perfectly marinated with right amount of knowledge and experience you will taste his personality through his writings. everything i read i feel as if i lived what he was writing. at first glance cam is a shy scareddy cat, emotional, stays away from anything that would hurt him and still he is one of the most brave people i know. he inspires me to be a lil more open and brave about my life. he has done more in the past year and a half than i ever have in the past ten. if he doesn't win you over with just his big blue eyes, he will with his heart. if you don't know who he is, look him up. if you are mad at him, make up. for he will most certainly cheer you up.

the weekend....

ok, after months of neglect im finally posting! my excuse is nothing exciting going on in my life and really there isnt. its work work work, eat eat eat although this weekend for the first time in a long time i actually had a saturday and a sunday off. there were several options we could have gone for, and if it wasn't that time of the month (bills! they suck) i would not have hesitated to skip town. a visit to the family would have been nice, perhaps a trip to vegas, or stay at the fab/plush busch manner. we decided to stay in good ole utah. meh! i actually had a lil fun hanging out all day with cam (partner in crime), austin (daughter of hades) and jarret (recently suffered from a stroke or has epilepsy).
the only problem now is wat do we do in utah? when we all get together and decide to go out it never ceases to amaze me how a bunch of judgmental, adamant, assertive, biased, bigoted, bossy, bullheaded, cocky, overbearing, pigheaded, prejudiced, self-assertive, set in stone, single-minded, stubborn, and unyielding fags can be so undeceive. since my partner in crime and i love to eat, food always comes first. gotta maintain my figure somehow. after getting lost i settled for red robin. now normally i dont like to make fun of peoples looks but after seeing a kid adjust his crotch and then deliver food 2 secs later i figured wat the hell ok. so here it goes. austin points out that our server was the hottest employee in the resturant. i was like hes right, these people would cook and eat christine. maybe my chili chili burger had chunks of her in it!!! probably why i have so much gas. regardless it was delightful.
next stop nordstrom rack. i love that place when im in the mood for it. guess i was in the mood for it two days in a row. its full of marked down good stuff. the clothes are still a bit pricey but my favorite part are always the shoes. everyone but me came out with crap. i wasnt leaving slc without spending money dammit! so it was off to the gateway! that place is boring as hell but it still makes me feel cool to go there. pretty much the only store worth going to is urban outfitters after that its mindless wondering around we have no idea where to go or wat to do. i did however come out of there with a pair of pants. overall it made my day cause i like the pants and best part was i finally spent some money!! if only i could be this excited about my bills.