farting is classic but enough is enough...

the sweet sound of cheeks clapping when wind dances past the crack of a butt can be memorable. now i grew up in a family of farters which makes me a little tolerant of farting than most. you all remember julio? the retarded roommate / friend. well i've determined he is one of the most disgusting people i know. i swear julio never wipes or cleans his septic tank. i believe the smell comes from years of carrion, contamination, corruption, crud*, defilement, dregs, dung, excrement, feces, feculence, filthiness, foul matter, foulness, garbage, grime, impurity, mire, muck, mud, nastiness, ordure, pollution, putrefaction, putrescence, putridity, refuse, rottenness, scuzz, sediment, sewage, silt, sleaze, slime, slop, sludge, slush, smut, trash, not to mention uncleanness build up. simply put, julio's farts are rank! he constantly reminds of whom is in the room at the time "oh, i farted" then have to smell that manure sediment in the air, literally smell manure sediment in the air. it's bad enough that i have to live in the same apartment. i love the guy so much i've stepped it up to share a room with him and endure sleepless smelly nights, days i need to walk around with a gas mask, even wake up to the pleasant aroma of julio's insides. i've done everything to try to get him to stop. i've sprayed him down with fabreeze, tell him he smells, berate him with endless mockery and rude comments (you all know i sometimes don't hold back), banned him from farting in the room, spray him with nasty smelling cologne, scream profanity while he sleeps and wake him up and i've even tried to publicly humiliate him. that disgusting, nauseous, foul-smelling, brazilian has an ego / pride surrounded by an ocean, the grand canyon, and a damn iron great wall of china. his damn ego / pride is the effing 8th wonder of the world, nothing penetrates it. just a little advice, buy some rid-x. damn his rotting flatulence. farting is classic, but enough is enough! did i mention julio inspired me to support THE CLEAN AIR CAMPAIGN.